My iambic pentameter challenged nephew accuses me of several things in his song "Revenge'. So for today's topic I'll answer Why I Blog.
No, it's not that I'm somehow braver sitting here in Tulsa Oklahoma and most of the people I talk about are enscounced in Arizona. Most of them refuse to talk to me through most conventional means: phone calls, letters, emails, you name it. Even my sister in law has her messages on facebook disabled to avoid contact with me. Who knew I was so scary? Or as one of my nieces recently opined, 'full of RAGE'. Geez, sometimes I wonder if anyone in my family even knows me, outside of my wife and kids. Simply put, I blog to put my thoughts down, to process the details of my life and because it's fun.
So on to the other topic of today's blog.
The Nature of Friendship.
I've been thinking a lot about the nature of friendship lately. Being so active on facebook has brought back a large number of people back into my life. Old friendships; some I didn't even realize I had. On the other hand, it has helped to show me how weak some of my friendships are and always have been.
My eldest son has learned a few lessons about his friendships recently, through the ocean cruise that we took him and some of his friends on for the celebration of his 21st birthday. He invited a few 'friends' who he wanted to take part in his celebration.
You'd think that anyone would be thrilled to take part in such a nice invitation. Or at the very least, grateful to be included in a family function like this.
If I had invited someone over to my house for a birthday party, and they immediately ran off to one of the bedrooms in my house and holed themselves away for the duration of said party, I'd be a little miffed. Wouldn't you?
This is basically what happened to Danny. His 'friends' spent most of their time on the cruise ship, cloistered in thier cabin, keeping to themselves and treating Danny like a red headed step child.
Several thoughts spring to mind in this situation...
If you really don't care for Danny and find him irritating, why did you accept to go on the cruise in the first place? I think the answer is pretty obvious. They came along thinking that they weren't going to pay him back for the cruise tickets like they had agreed to conditionally in advance, so what the hell? Yes, I warned Danny not to pay for their tickets in advance, because I figured after meeting them the first time, that they would take advantage of his good nature. And they did.
If you travel the world, learn to be a little respectful for cultures not your own. It was painfully obvious that they were uncomfortable being off U.S. soil, but acting like 'spoiled Americans' was downright embarassing. You know the stereotype... they embodied it.
And Brian (Dante), Honey, there was only room for ONE Drama Queen on the cruise, and this bitch wears the high heels. :)
In some regards, I'm glad that these users showed their true colors to Danny. He is better off without 'friends' like these.
Doesn't make it hurt any less for him, and that makes me sad and angry at the same time. Danny is one of the sweetest most gentle giants on the planet. People that don't appreciate him don't deserve to be a part of his life. And people who mistreat him like this run the chance of ruining the man he is. I can't abide that.
As part of the fall out of my brother's death, I ended up losing someone that I considered a friend for many years myself. In the course of discussion between he and I during the destruction of our friendship, a few things came to light. In the past, some friends and I have had a difference of opinion as to the definition of friendship. One friend called it 'mutual exploitation'. I thought that was a bit harsh, but I understood what he was trying to say.
In the case of the recently lost friendship, he mentioned how much he always respected me. That surprised me, as I had felt many aspects of our friendship over the years, but respect was never one of them. We talked every now and then, we shared common interests, but there were several episodes over the years that showed me that although we were friends, there was no respect on his part present. Friendship for me means that I like your company. I enjoy being around you and we have a good time together. I enjoy sharing thoughts and ideas with you.
Respectful Friendship does not include insulting my manhood because my wife is having a little girl instead of a boy, or degrading my wife because she's active in little theater instead of being a 'real actor' like your mom. You get the idea...
It appears to me that I can do without certain friends in my life as well. And frankly, since he cut me out of his life, I haven't noticed much of a difference.
